Christmas memories can be the best or the worst, and the
emotions tied to them are certain to be amplified this time of year.
If the holidays bring unhappy memories, how do we cope with
the flood of feelings that are dammed up behind our happy facade? We may feel
we need to put on a happy face for those around us, when deep inside our sorrow
shows.
There seems to be an expectation for everyone to be jolly
this time of year. Just listening to the holiday music, nine out of ten songs
is upbeat and happy. Some are over the top, almost manic, like “We Need a
Little Christmas” which races around decorating “before my spirit falls
again”. What we need “right this
very minute” is a little peace amidst the chaos.
The reality may feel more like Judy Garland’s version of
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (from Meet Me in St. Louis). Singing
to her little sis, lamenting a move that would take them far from loved ones,
the feeling is melancholy as she looks to the future for happier times. By the
way, the more familiar version of the song, made popular by Frank Sinatra, is
more upbeat with a change in the lyrics. After all, his album was to be called
“A Jolly Christmas”!
There does seem to be a holiday song for every emotion.
Perhaps you are dreaming of a “White Christmas” as I was after a move to
California. Many secular Christmas songs deal with love at Christmastime, and
if you are not in a relationship, these can be hard to bear.
The sacred Christmas songs speak of promise and peace. Once
again, I turn to my faith for the solace I seek. This promise of a Christ
child, the Prince of Peace. The sweet song “Away in the Manger” over three
verses tells the Christmas story beautifully, with a prayer for God to be near
us always.
When we are overwhelmed with feelings of sadness or
inadequacy during the preparations for this season, God is the one we need to
turn to. When our hearts are heavy, He is the only one who can provide His
perfect peace. There are no simple answers to deal with holiday grief. Perhaps,
like Judy, we feel we need to believe in happier tomorrows. Instead of thinking
“until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” maybe we should think like Frank
and “hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”
“And have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.” Now. Not just looking to the future for
better times. Let’s try to look to the present for a small joy. Today.
Make it point
to find something to be joyful about, something to be thankful for. There are
those little moments in the day, when the sun hits the snow and it sparkles
like diamonds, or when a child shows you unconditional love; or the moment when
a stranger shares a smile with you, that you can believe in peace on earth.
Our sorrows will diminish with time, but we need to live
fully in the present. It may feel like the holidays are just something we have
to get through. But if we search out reasons to be thankful, there may be
little joys hidden amongst the trappings of the season.
Go for a walk and
breathe in the cold, crisp air. Look for signs of wildlife foraging in the
frozen world. If you are in a warmer clime, appreciate the subtle changes in
the world around you. Find your center. Pray for God’s peace.
There is joy to be found amidst our sorrows; hope even
though we think all is hopeless. Turn to the One who can show you the way out
of your doldrums. Ask for His help
and tell Him of your need. He will open your eyes to the beauty that is around
you. He will point you on the pathway to finding peace.
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