Milestones of Our Lives

Today we are celebrating a birthday in our family. The big guy’s - the old man (I can say that cuz he’s older than me!) It got me thinking about the milestones of our lives.

Thirty-one years ago when we celebrated hubby’s birthday, we were living in a small apartment in Sacramento. We had recently left the Midwestern winter behind and moved to California. 

I baked a cake and tried to give him the attention he would have received from his large, extended family had we been celebrating in Wisconsin. This was our first milestone away from family. We were on our own, just the two of us --  along with my cat, Mittsy.

We had packed up and moved in March of 1982, giving away whatever wouldn't fit into our rented 4’x8’ trailer. What I remember most are the final good-byes. I've found that when strong emotions are tied to a memory, they remain forever.

When the packing was completed, and friends helped clean my little flat, we celebrated our bon voyage by toasting with champagne in paper cups. Later we added some of hubby's things to the trailer (the rest were left in his parent's basement), and when we were finally ready to leave on our great adventure, it was near dusk.

Our final farewell with extended family is burned into my memory. As we pulled away from the curb, they stood along the sidewalk in the falling darkness, all in a line, waving goodbye. The moment was so filled with emotion – our great adventure just beginning, and leaving friends and family and everything familiar behind.

In all the time that has passed, we’ve made four major moves to three different states. We’ve grown our family with the addition of four sons born in two different states. All of their milestones have been joyously celebrated along the way.

One part of my life journey that I remember clearly was when I was ‘born again’ in my faith, as a young mother living under the broad expanse of Texas skies. I had long talks with God on my walks under that great blue sky. 

I remember when I tearfully gave Him back my sons, one at a time, knowing fully well that they were really His. For a mom who believed I was their protector, this was difficult to do, but my relationship with God began to grow as I learned to trust Him with my precious children, and indeed with my own life as well. There have been many milestones in my faith journey, and I hope they keep coming! 

We celebrate the passing years with birthday parties and anniversary celebrations. Holidays come and go, with all their preparations and fun and family closeness. And when they are past and I am left with a mild melancholy. But I cherish the memories.

Children grow past their years of needing us for everything, and too soon we are celebrating graduations from high school and then from college. If you haven’t gotten to that place in your life yet, believe me when I say the time passes so very quickly, way too quickly.

We celebrate our children’s growth as they become the people God intends for them to be. The joy of watching them grow and develop maturity is perhaps the most rewarding stage of parenthood.

I hope in my future there will be the celebration of grand babies and their birthdays. The years continue to march forward in infantry-like precision. There is no stopping the passage of time. And with this crazy world we live in now, even those who have time on their hands say that time seems to be passing more quickly these days.

Photo Courtesy Best Light Photography

So we must celebrate the milestones, as well as the every day gifts of life and love and beauty. Every day is a new beginning for us. We are made new each day by God's grace and are given the opportunity to be grateful for the very breath that brings us life.

We can celebrate the passing of the seasons and the special milestones of our lives, knowing we can give thanks to the One who walks beside us through each and every day. In fact, the only constant through all of this change is knowing God is always with us. He is walking with each of us, as we navigate this journey of life. 

All is Merry and Bright - or Maybe Not So Much?

Christmas memories can be the best or the worst, and the emotions tied to them are certain to be amplified this time of year.

If the holidays bring unhappy memories, how do we cope with the flood of feelings that are dammed up behind our happy facade? We may feel we need to put on a happy face for those around us, when deep inside our sorrow shows.

There seems to be an expectation for everyone to be jolly this time of year. Just listening to the holiday music, nine out of ten songs is upbeat and happy. Some are over the top, almost manic, like “We Need a Little Christmas” which races around decorating “before my spirit falls again”.  What we need “right this very minute” is a little peace amidst the chaos.

The reality may feel more like Judy Garland’s version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (from Meet Me in St. Louis). Singing to her little sis, lamenting a move that would take them far from loved ones, the feeling is melancholy as she looks to the future for happier times. By the way, the more familiar version of the song, made popular by Frank Sinatra, is more upbeat with a change in the lyrics. After all, his album was to be called “A Jolly Christmas”!

There does seem to be a holiday song for every emotion. Perhaps you are dreaming of a “White Christmas” as I was after a move to California. Many secular Christmas songs deal with love at Christmastime, and if you are not in a relationship, these can be hard to bear.

The sacred Christmas songs speak of promise and peace. Once again, I turn to my faith for the solace I seek. This promise of a Christ child, the Prince of Peace. The sweet song “Away in the Manger” over three verses tells the Christmas story beautifully, with a prayer for God to be near us always.

When we are overwhelmed with feelings of sadness or inadequacy during the preparations for this season, God is the one we need to turn to. When our hearts are heavy, He is the only one who can provide His perfect peace. There are no simple answers to deal with holiday grief. Perhaps, like Judy, we feel we need to believe in happier tomorrows. Instead of thinking “until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” maybe we should think like Frank and “hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”

“And have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.”  Now. Not just looking to the future for better times. Let’s try to look to the present for a small joy. Today.

Make it point to find something to be joyful about, something to be thankful for. There are those little moments in the day, when the sun hits the snow and it sparkles like diamonds, or when a child shows you unconditional love; or the moment when a stranger shares a smile with you, that you can believe in peace on earth.

Our sorrows will diminish with time, but we need to live fully in the present. It may feel like the holidays are just something we have to get through. But if we search out reasons to be thankful, there may be little joys hidden amongst the trappings of the season.

Go for a walk and breathe in the cold, crisp air. Look for signs of wildlife foraging in the frozen world. If you are in a warmer clime, appreciate the subtle changes in the world around you. Find your center. Pray for God’s peace.

There is joy to be found amidst our sorrows; hope even though we think all is hopeless. Turn to the One who can show you the way out of your doldrums.  Ask for His help and tell Him of your need. He will open your eyes to the beauty that is around you. He will point you on the pathway to finding peace.