How Can I Keep from Singing

God made me a singer. From very early on, I knew that’s what I wanted to be. As a very little girl, I remember sitting on my swing on Sunday mornings after church, swinging and singing songs to Jesus. 

My daddy made the swing by connecting a pole between a sawed-off tree trunk and a living tree. It was a place where I would sit all by myself and swing and sing and make up songs. It wasn't too far from the kitchen window and my mother's watchful eye, but to me I felt far away from everyone in my own little world. Even though I was very small, I remember this special place and my private time spent swinging and singing there.

Most lives are filled with some sorrow, and while my childhood and adolescence took some very bad turns, I am certain these events helped to mold me into who I am today. I honestly don’t think that I would feel the compassion and love that I have for God’s people if I had not endured all that I had to go through. 

I have always loved to sing, and enjoyed singing in my grade school choirs. During one holiday season, I remember singing - very loudly - as one of the Wise Men in a Christmas pageant at the Little House of Prayer. Naturally, I dreamed of being a big singing star. But even in these early years I realized the profound joy I felt when I sang.

It wasn’t until I was adult, and had given up my dream of stardom for the more real and tangible dreams of being a wife and mother, that I had an epiphany that would change me forever.

I realized that God made me able to sing, so that I could sing for Him.

Elation coupled with humbleness, and I wondered how I hadn’t known this truth all along. Those songs I made up as a little girl were ‘God’ songs, about the beauty of life and the world, about butterflies and blue skies on a sunny day; some of the very things I am grateful for each day of my adult life. How I wish I could remember those songs!

As I lead worship singing, or sing in the Chancel Choir at my church, I draw on years of vocal training through singing with high school and community choirs. You’d think that it would all be second nature, but I am always learning, and honing my craft.

When I sing, I have so many things to remember: how and when to breathe, annunciation, and of course, singing the proper notes and staying on my part. Sometimes I fear my imperfection, if I feel my voice isn’t up to par, or I worry if I will be able to hit that high note. Or perhaps I haven’t had adequate rehearsal time, and I fear I will make a mistake.

That’s when I pray. I give it all to God. I pray that He will empty me of me, and fill me with His Holy Spirit. Great joy fills me when I sing from my heart, and I’ve been told it shows on my face. I really can’t help it. I am a very emotional person, and I don't feel the need to hide my joy.

But there's more to this story, and my sweet sister-in-law, whom God has often used to teach me spiritual truths, explained it best. She said that I am a vessel, and that God uses me. 

I imagine it like this, as if I am an empty pitcher. God fills me with His love and His Holy Spirit, and then pours me out. When I sing, I pour out His love over His beloved children. It's His love that's reaching everyone, and I am so thrilled that He uses me in this way. 

When I feel the gentle peace of His indwelling Spirit, I am lifted beyond my earthly concerns. His peace fills me as I give it all to Him, surrendering my fears and human frailty, and I am blessed with indescribable peace and joy. 

And not surprisingly, when I'm not worrying about perfection, the singing goes along perfectly.

And it isn't just in singing that this works. Any time we hold worries and concerns too closely, we are trying to do this life all on our own. We need to surrender those thoughts and fears that trouble us and keep us from joy. When we are burdened with care, we should share our concerns with God. Just give them all to Him.

And though our problems don’t go away, our inner selves are filled with a comforting peace that assures us that all will be well. In the greater scheme of things, our little daily troubles and concerns don’t amount to much. Maintaining this perspective while keeping our thoughts with God will also help to keep our feet on the pathway to peace.

And that, my friends, is the only path I want to walk.

Let go of your troubles, concerns, fears and hardships and allow God to fill you with all that He is. 


When we do, we can begin to heal, and move toward a more perfect peace in Him.

A Friend in Need

We are not meant to navigate this lifetime journey alone. Our spirits yearn for the satisfaction of sharing our lives with others.

For someone like me, who craves ‘alone’ time, this can be a conundrum. 

While I find solace in peace and quiet, and I know a solitary walk in the woods will recharge my spirit, there are times when my heart aches to share a burden with a friend.

God has placed special people, prayerful people, in my life, in whom I can confide. I honestly believe the prayers of these friends have been life-changing for me. But before I could receive their love, I had to reach out and share my heart.

Being a friend is as important as having a friend. Listening is the best skill we can develop. It’s hard sometimes, to bite my tongue and let the other person finish talking. I want to interject an idea or suggestion. It takes practice, but being a good listener is sometimes the only comfort a friend needs in times of trouble.

Photo courtesy Best Light Photography

I’ve grown to cherish my friendships, and the uplifted feeling I get when I share time with a good friend. When I am having a day when the world seems against me, I remind myself of my friendships, and it soothes my spirit to know that I am loved.

And the truth is, we are never alone. There is One who walks beside us in every step of this lifetime journey. The comfort of knowing that God is near me always blesses my spirit with peace in troubling times.

Even when a friend is not available to talk, I can speak to God and His Spirit sends me comfort. His Presence in my life is a soothing balm. No matter what happens, I am never alone.

I believe we are meant to share our lives with close friends, intimately sharing the joys and concerns of our hearts. But I know God wants to share all of this with us, too. Every problem we share with Him is an opportunity to know His Peace. And the peace that God provides surpasses our ability to understand it. Just savor it, and let it seep deeply into your awareness.

And in turn, when joyful feelings lift our spirits, we should come to God in gratitude for the blessings He provides. Sharing happy times and cherishing our blessings gives us the balance we need in our lives.

In truth, the gift of His Peace in times of difficulty can move us to feel joy, and thus to share our gratitude. This brings us into an endless cycle of connectedness to God. And truthfully, that is what He desires with us, a relationship.

Just as with our friendships here on earth, we give and receive in our relationship with God.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. This saying is so true. Don’t be afraid to share your heart with others. I spent far too much time holding all my troubles inside and trying to weather them alone. As my sweet sister says, “A problem shared is a problem cut in half”, and it’s true! Our burdens are lifted when we share them with a trusted friend.

And remember, God is only a thought away. If we cultivate our friendship with Him daily, just by talking to Him every day, it will be natural for us to turn to Him to share our joys and our sorrows. God is near, and He wants to be the best friend we ever have.  

Choosing Acceptance

When winter came creeping back onto my doorstep last week, my heart was not prepared for it. I was enjoying the days of fifty degree weather in early January, and a part of me pretended that we could just skip the snow and cold this year and morph right into an early spring.

Being born and raised in Wisconsin, I knew this couldn’t happen, yet the prospect sounded very encouraging. When they predicted the storm, the meteorologists and reporters pounced on the story with gusto. But in the early morning it was clear that only a mist was falling out there. Forget the fact that it was freezing to glare ice on surfaces. They were wrong. The temperatures would stay warm and it wouldn’t snow.

My cat, Lucky- he knows how to nap!

Sometime mid-morning the rain began to mix with snowflakes. By late morning, there was no denying that only snow was falling. And a lot of it, too. Usually when the first big snowfall begins, in late November or early December, I am filled with excitement like a child (though I usually don’t admit this to other level-headed adults).  This time, however, I chose to turn my back to the window and took a long winter’s nap.

When I awoke, the flakes were falling fast and furious and the world was already white. There was no denying winter had arrived, and I realized I had two choices, enjoy the snowfall in all its beauty or stay in bed until spring. Accepting winter for the good it brings helped with my attitude adjustment.

Walking the snowy trail behind our home

There is a peacefulness in walking amidst the falling snow which can’t be compared with any other time out in nature. Winter brings a coziness and less-hurried pace of other seasons. I enjoy the solitude, warm fires in the fireplace and the family together under one roof sharing hot meals and time together.

We humans have the innate capacity for acceptance. Making the best of our situations and finding the good in them is essential to finding our happiness. We find God’s peace in knowing we are exactly where He wants us to be. Perhaps our circumstances are not what we hoped. We can easily feel longing for things that might have been or once were. Time is an ever-flowing river, constantly moving forward. As much as we would like to, we cannot hit pause; nor can we go back in time.

Choosing acceptance helps secure our present. When we are fully invested in the here and now, we can find joy in our current situation rather than pining for something that can never be. This takes practice, and letting go.

Rocky knows peaceful rest

Relinquishing our hopes and dreams to the One who really holds our future is a process to knowing inner peace. Trusting and relying on God frees us from worry. With His help, and with prayer, we can learn to let go of the wants and desires that nag at our heart. With acceptance, we can appreciate all that we already have been given and live our lives in gratitude instead of want. 

Audrey Assad has written a beautiful song that touches my heart. 

We cannot find true peace until we rest in God.

Restless, by Audrey Assad

Trust is the Name of the Game

Right around the curve in the road we see all the possibilities. All of our tomorrows are opened up before us. We have only to choose the path we’re on, and trust that the One who leads us will take us where we need to go.

There was a time when I thought I could do this all by myself. I fumbled and fought and fell down and wondered why I was always struggling.  At that time I didn’t believe in a higher power to guide me. I thought I could do it on my own.

I still struggle, and I still fall down. Life is, and always will be, difficult. What has changed is the way I see the fight. I’m no longer in this alone. God is my constant companion. I turn to Him when I am weary, and rest my head on his heart when I can’t see that way to go forward anymore.

I praise Him and sing to Him for all that is good; for love and blessings, for sunshine and shadows, for life and for breath. I thank Him for the exquisite joy of living, for the privilege of walking hand in hand with my Maker as I tackle all of life’s joys and challenges.

There is something different in the way I live my life now, and that difference is trust. I have found that trusting in God gives me the freedom to believe in the possibilities. No matter what happens, I know God is with me, and He has my best interest at heart.

It has taken a very long time to realize I don’t need to be in control; that by trusting in God I can surrender my tightly-held belief that only I can make this life happen the way I want it to.

There are many times when the only thing I can do is trust in God. When I am helpless in my fear or in my inability to see beyond my emotions, I trust in Him to see clearly for me. I know God will never leave me, and His plan for me will take me through the valleys and back up onto the mountaintop.

Trust is something, I have found, that needs to be nurtured one day at a time. It is the nature of the human spirit to want to strive to be in control of our own lives. The true pathway to peace is to relinquish control to God, realizing we really don’t control our own destiny as much as we would like to think we do.

There is a peace in letting go of this control. Trusting God with what lies ahead makes for smooth sailing no matter how rough the waters. My prayer for many months has been, “All that I am, and all that I am meant to be, let it be in your will for me.” 

My prayer has been to allow God to work through me to help me become the woman He has meant for me to be. Instead of striving for perfection, or trying on my own to always fight the good fight, I relinquish control of my destiny to the One who held it all along. My future has never felt more sure, even though nothing in life is certain. The constant in my life is the faith I have that God will lead me where He wants me to go.

"'For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"   Jeremiah 29:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

All is Merry and Bright - or Maybe Not So Much?

Christmas memories can be the best or the worst, and the emotions tied to them are certain to be amplified this time of year.

If the holidays bring unhappy memories, how do we cope with the flood of feelings that are dammed up behind our happy facade? We may feel we need to put on a happy face for those around us, when deep inside our sorrow shows.

There seems to be an expectation for everyone to be jolly this time of year. Just listening to the holiday music, nine out of ten songs is upbeat and happy. Some are over the top, almost manic, like “We Need a Little Christmas” which races around decorating “before my spirit falls again”.  What we need “right this very minute” is a little peace amidst the chaos.

The reality may feel more like Judy Garland’s version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (from Meet Me in St. Louis). Singing to her little sis, lamenting a move that would take them far from loved ones, the feeling is melancholy as she looks to the future for happier times. By the way, the more familiar version of the song, made popular by Frank Sinatra, is more upbeat with a change in the lyrics. After all, his album was to be called “A Jolly Christmas”!

There does seem to be a holiday song for every emotion. Perhaps you are dreaming of a “White Christmas” as I was after a move to California. Many secular Christmas songs deal with love at Christmastime, and if you are not in a relationship, these can be hard to bear.

The sacred Christmas songs speak of promise and peace. Once again, I turn to my faith for the solace I seek. This promise of a Christ child, the Prince of Peace. The sweet song “Away in the Manger” over three verses tells the Christmas story beautifully, with a prayer for God to be near us always.

When we are overwhelmed with feelings of sadness or inadequacy during the preparations for this season, God is the one we need to turn to. When our hearts are heavy, He is the only one who can provide His perfect peace. There are no simple answers to deal with holiday grief. Perhaps, like Judy, we feel we need to believe in happier tomorrows. Instead of thinking “until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” maybe we should think like Frank and “hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”

“And have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.”  Now. Not just looking to the future for better times. Let’s try to look to the present for a small joy. Today.

Make it point to find something to be joyful about, something to be thankful for. There are those little moments in the day, when the sun hits the snow and it sparkles like diamonds, or when a child shows you unconditional love; or the moment when a stranger shares a smile with you, that you can believe in peace on earth.

Our sorrows will diminish with time, but we need to live fully in the present. It may feel like the holidays are just something we have to get through. But if we search out reasons to be thankful, there may be little joys hidden amongst the trappings of the season.

Go for a walk and breathe in the cold, crisp air. Look for signs of wildlife foraging in the frozen world. If you are in a warmer clime, appreciate the subtle changes in the world around you. Find your center. Pray for God’s peace.

There is joy to be found amidst our sorrows; hope even though we think all is hopeless. Turn to the One who can show you the way out of your doldrums.  Ask for His help and tell Him of your need. He will open your eyes to the beauty that is around you. He will point you on the pathway to finding peace.