How Can I Keep from Singing

God made me a singer. From very early on, I knew that’s what I wanted to be. As a very little girl, I remember sitting on my swing on Sunday mornings after church, swinging and singing songs to Jesus. 

My daddy made the swing by connecting a pole between a sawed-off tree trunk and a living tree. It was a place where I would sit all by myself and swing and sing and make up songs. It wasn't too far from the kitchen window and my mother's watchful eye, but to me I felt far away from everyone in my own little world. Even though I was very small, I remember this special place and my private time spent swinging and singing there.

Most lives are filled with some sorrow, and while my childhood and adolescence took some very bad turns, I am certain these events helped to mold me into who I am today. I honestly don’t think that I would feel the compassion and love that I have for God’s people if I had not endured all that I had to go through. 

I have always loved to sing, and enjoyed singing in my grade school choirs. During one holiday season, I remember singing - very loudly - as one of the Wise Men in a Christmas pageant at the Little House of Prayer. Naturally, I dreamed of being a big singing star. But even in these early years I realized the profound joy I felt when I sang.

It wasn’t until I was adult, and had given up my dream of stardom for the more real and tangible dreams of being a wife and mother, that I had an epiphany that would change me forever.

I realized that God made me able to sing, so that I could sing for Him.

Elation coupled with humbleness, and I wondered how I hadn’t known this truth all along. Those songs I made up as a little girl were ‘God’ songs, about the beauty of life and the world, about butterflies and blue skies on a sunny day; some of the very things I am grateful for each day of my adult life. How I wish I could remember those songs!

As I lead worship singing, or sing in the Chancel Choir at my church, I draw on years of vocal training through singing with high school and community choirs. You’d think that it would all be second nature, but I am always learning, and honing my craft.

When I sing, I have so many things to remember: how and when to breathe, annunciation, and of course, singing the proper notes and staying on my part. Sometimes I fear my imperfection, if I feel my voice isn’t up to par, or I worry if I will be able to hit that high note. Or perhaps I haven’t had adequate rehearsal time, and I fear I will make a mistake.

That’s when I pray. I give it all to God. I pray that He will empty me of me, and fill me with His Holy Spirit. Great joy fills me when I sing from my heart, and I’ve been told it shows on my face. I really can’t help it. I am a very emotional person, and I don't feel the need to hide my joy.

But there's more to this story, and my sweet sister-in-law, whom God has often used to teach me spiritual truths, explained it best. She said that I am a vessel, and that God uses me. 

I imagine it like this, as if I am an empty pitcher. God fills me with His love and His Holy Spirit, and then pours me out. When I sing, I pour out His love over His beloved children. It's His love that's reaching everyone, and I am so thrilled that He uses me in this way. 

When I feel the gentle peace of His indwelling Spirit, I am lifted beyond my earthly concerns. His peace fills me as I give it all to Him, surrendering my fears and human frailty, and I am blessed with indescribable peace and joy. 

And not surprisingly, when I'm not worrying about perfection, the singing goes along perfectly.

And it isn't just in singing that this works. Any time we hold worries and concerns too closely, we are trying to do this life all on our own. We need to surrender those thoughts and fears that trouble us and keep us from joy. When we are burdened with care, we should share our concerns with God. Just give them all to Him.

And though our problems don’t go away, our inner selves are filled with a comforting peace that assures us that all will be well. In the greater scheme of things, our little daily troubles and concerns don’t amount to much. Maintaining this perspective while keeping our thoughts with God will also help to keep our feet on the pathway to peace.

And that, my friends, is the only path I want to walk.

Let go of your troubles, concerns, fears and hardships and allow God to fill you with all that He is. 


When we do, we can begin to heal, and move toward a more perfect peace in Him.

Hope I Remember the Words

Anyone who knows me, knows I love to sing. I sing in the shower. I sing in the kitchen. I sing every week with our local Choral Union rehearsing for our concerts. I sing with our wonderful church choir of dedicated singers who learn a song on Wednesday and sing it with all their hearts the following Sunday. I sing in a trio of women as worship song leaders. I sing in the open spaces of nature when I think no one can hear me. I sing, well, you get the idea.

A few years ago I had the privilege of landscaping a very old church in a community nearby that predates Wisconsin statehood. The church is nearly that old, too, and I truly felt I was working on sacred ground.

We planted a beautiful little magnolia tree as a memorial.  My crew did the heavy work, and  as I tucked the tree into its new home in the earth, I silently breathed a prayer for the one who had passed. I prayed, too, that the tree would flourish and grow. Can you imagine a memorial tree dying? That would be very bad indeed. Thankfully, the magnolia tree still flowers beautifully each Spring .

As I prepared the shrubs for planting, I sang a favorite hymn, “Fairest Lord Jesus” which I knew by heart. I enjoyed singing about God and nature while I was in the midst of both.

Several weeks after we completed the  project, the church held a dedication for the new landscaping, and I offered to sing for them. Of course I chose to sing “Fairest Lord Jesus”.

The day of the dedication service I had minimal time to practice with the organist before the service started. When it came time for me to sing, I took my place by the organist.  I had no music in front of me because of course I knew the song very well, so I was confident.

But I hadn’t counted on stage fright. The organist began, and paused, waiting for me to sing. I panicked! I couldn’t remember the first line to the song. The song “Fairest Lord Jesus” which begins “Fairest Lord Jesus…” Snap! It came back to me in a flash and I began to sing. My knees were knocking but hopefully no one noticed. Somehow I made it through and I learned a valuable lesson. Always have the music in front of you even if you don’t think you need it!

I still get nervous when I sing solos. But I make myself do it to face my fear. Now I can sing in front of my congregation and share a song sung from my heart. I prayed for God to help me face this giant in my life. I knew I had to face it or be perpetually defeated .  

With God’s help, I can face my fear of stage fright. It is still a challenge, but using slow-breathing techniques prior to singing helps. And prayer. Lots of prayer. It’s the only way I can get through any trial, even singing solo.